What if....

Talk about one of my all time favorite questions, "what if"... I love it so much because it always gives me something to ponder over.

Recently, I've been thinking....

"What if cancer had never taken my mom's life when I was just 14 years old?"

Read on to find out.





Its hard sometimes. For people to dwell on the past and how things could be different. Personally I like to look back at events like these, events that were so life altering that had it never happened, I would be an infinitely different person.

Look, I'm not saying I'm glad my mom died. But had she lived on through the years, everyone here would not be reading this. No one would know who I am.  Here is how different things would have been.

I would have gone to catholic high school instead of the nearby public school that ended up shaping my life. Chances are, I would not be fighting against the church as I am today. Instead I would still be a devout 1 hr a week church goer. I probably would have smoked weed at some point in my high school life. The catholic high school was infamous for that. Of course, everyone keeps it on the D_L from the parents.

O gawd... I could only imagine how much more my life would be different if I had gone here. Not a crossdresser, that's for sure.

My dad would never have left the Navy when he did and we would have never owned that bakery. I would have never developed the sense of independence that I developed during my 4 years of high school, thanks to my need to be out and about and relying on my bike rather than a parent with a car. In fact I think its fair to say that my growth in general would have been immensely shunted had my dad never owned that bakery. That bakery really instilled in me a sense of hard work that I to this day still retain.

I probably would have gone to college to partake in the Nursing field, as my parents always wanted. My mother probably would not have had me settle for anything less than UF. I would have been caught up in Tebowmania. I would have graduated with a Nursing degree and gone on to do w/e it is nurses do.

Could've been this.

I probably would have been set up in an Asian relationship. In fact, I probably would not have come to hate Asians as much as I do today. FYI my hate for Asians did in fact start at Sandalwood, the high school I went to. But that hate was kindled by family matters and Asians who tried to take advantage of me.

I think most of all, I would never have become a lolita. Or if I did, and I would like to assume that regardless of what happened in my life I would have become one, I most likely would have never met the super mass amounts of awesome people that I have met. Raleigh, Charlotte, Greenville, Savannah, Augusta, Atlanta... All of them I would have most likely never met.

So I think it goes that w/o saying, my life has been defined by some pretty life-altering events. And that had things turned out differently, I probably would not be typing this right now.Of course, for all we know I could have gone that route and things would have turned out the way they have today. But that's the fun of "what if". You don't really know. You can only imagine.