Monday, November 12, 2012

Looking at the past and towards the future

 They say that you should never regret the decisions you make in life. After all, they make you who you are. But sometimes I look back and wonder, would my life have been so much different if I had changed this aspect of my life? Sometimes, change really might have made life better.

The greatest catch 22 in my life: Joining the Navy.

I hate it. But without it, I would not be where I am today. Would not know who I know today. And honestly, even if if I could and wanted to, I couldn't leave it today. I live too far an expensive lifestyle to leave a steady paycheck. And my confidence still has much to be desired for the civilian working world.

My biggest regret the past two years: Coming back to Jacksonville as much as I did in my first year in Charleston.

Literally I gained nothing long term from coming back to Jacksonville as much as I did. I lost contact with a lot of people and the people I still consider friends, I barely talk to anyways. Rather than having wasted time continually going down to Jacksonville, I wish I had spent more time pursuing the other lolita communities that I eventually discovered during my 2nd year in Charleston.

My biggest want: To find someone who will marry me and take care of me.

This is not to say I am a lazy slob. If I have to work, I will do it. But it would be super awesome to find a male or female who would be the bread winner while I be the stay at home dad. To that end...

Children: Will be adopted

So I figure, why have a baby that could easily turn out to be a rotten apple when you can go pick what you want? Not only do you get a kid who you end up liking but you also get the kid out of the adoption system. And you bypass all the finances required by the hospital for birth of the child and all the expenses of the first 4-5 years of diapers and milk and stuff. O yea and I want a girl who likes pretty dresses. So I can dress her up to be a lolita :3

My biggest desire: To free people from the insanity of church thinking

Personally if you use church to give you strength and guidance, I am chill with that. I feel that everyone needs something or someone to hang on to, especially when the going gets rough. Its when people start using their beliefs to shove issues down my throat. When people start backing their arguments with a book that in my eyes has no credibility to it, that is when things get out of hand.

Biggest change I want: Gender change

I think most people saw this one coming.

Greatest need: A partner

Not necessarily a significant other. But someone who I can call for cuddles every once in a while. There have been too many instances in my life where I needed one and my answer to the lack of one was to stir in anger for hours. Luckily I have managed to control the anger and not destroy anything. But one of these days, it will rise up.

Thing I am most thankful for: Meeting all the wonderful lolitas and most especially Paulina

I have loved meeting everyone over the past year and a half. But one of the greatest joys has been meeting a local lolita whom I can finally just call and be like "lets dress up and do something" :3 And its funny because her story and mine intertwine even before we ever knew each other personally. Of course, to get the full scoop check out the blog post "When the Impossible Becomes Possible" located here:

Well, that's all for now.

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