Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Brolita basics: Going to the meet

Ah so after much gnashing of teeth and really no idea where to go with it, I have decided not to post anything on makeup and accessories. Besides, you can always call up a gal pal who will hopefully teach you the ways of picking the right makeup and applying it.

Instead, I will talk about going to a meet. Seems pretty basic I know. You up and move your ruffle butt over to wherever the meet is being held and you join in on the festivities. But I could understand there being some anxiousness over being a brolita and meeting a group of girls for the first time. Well, I am here to help guide you to your first meet.

Ah so you are a fortunate little soul who has an active group of lolitas near you. Or maybe your not but you are just a crazy person like me and you are willing to drive long distances to meet groups of lolitas. You are excited to go to your first ever meetup. I know I was. But at the back of your brain, or maybe at the front, you have your doubts. What do I do? How should I act? Will this group even accept me?

To answer that last question, I have yet come across any group of lolitas who has rejected anybody. Most groups are super awesome and from what I have seen drama free *though what happens behind the scenes, I have no clue. Nor do I ever intend to find out*. So you can almost unanimously drop that last doubt from your mind. Besides, would you want to hang out with a group of people that rejects you for who you are?

As a brolita going to a meet for the first time, I always make sure to inform the hostess and as many other members of the meet that a brolita will be making an appearance. This is to help prevent any awkward "Hello!.. O, you're a guy." *silence* moments. Though I have had times where girls who did not know and found out were super excited to meet me. I also like to leave my cell phone number. Some or most people would probably be apprehensive and vastly against this. But I figure its a small risk to help ensure against any mishaps that may prevent from getting to a meet *change in meetup location at last second or running late*

A brolita should always act the way they normally would. Just like a lolita, a brolita is not required to change his personality just to fit the clothing they are wearing. Of course, just because you do not have to change your personality does not mean you can't be polite. As a brolita, be prepared to get some stares, some questions, and some pretty rude comments. Stares are the most common and usually due to the clothing rather than the illusion. But when people find out that you really are a guy, they begin to ask questions. Most times they will be curious as to why you wear what you wear. Sometimes they will be more direct and ask if you are a homosexual *I cannot tell you how often I get this question*. And rarely, but it happens, you will have someone who acts on their negativity and give you rude comments. The best solution to 2 of these 3 situations is to just ignore it and move on with your night. And with situation #3, unless they truly intend to act upon you, you can safely ignore them for the rest of your life.

Table manners are also good to have. Sure you do not need to be all neat and eat tiny morsels of food and drink tea with your pinky up. But for the sake of preserving your dress, it would not be recommended to eat say spaghetti or anything that could easily stain.

Bathrooms are always a tricky issue and one that all brolitas have to eventually deal with. I realize that the very utmost proper societal thing to do is to go to the bathroom that you were born for. But I feel that not only for the sake of your confidence but also for your safety, using the female bathroom is a reasonable expectation. As long as one does nothing creeper like, there should be no reason this brings alarm to anyone.

Well this just about wraps up my personal history on brolita basics. This is not a perfect guide and I am sure that there is indeed a far superior tutorial out there on the internet. But hopefully my experiences can be used to help guide more guys into the wonderful world of frills and lace.


  1. Even if I'm a Lolita I think your Blog is really interesting and I believe it's useful for other Brolitas =)

  2. Thank you for posting this! :O I was actually wondering about how brolitas deal with bathrooms. I agree that using the girl's bathroom is the best decision -- it could possibly put oneself at risk if they use the guys's bathroom; you have no idea how people might react. D: Maybe I'm being overly paranoid, but I can totally imagine something like a bathroom hazing being in a news report. >_<

  3. @Yuki: :) I just never ever see things about brolitas. Like ever. And idk if that is due to me not searching hard enough or if there truly is just so little out there. But I hope to get some sort of info out to other guys who'd rather not wear the pants.

    @Alyssa: Yea. I was not so worried about an attack in the bathroom moreso than an attack out in the open, where it would be easier to set up assault locations. Something else I forgot to mention in this article is that I carry knives and mace on me and almost keep one hand on my mace at all times when traveling in public.

  4. Oh wow, a brolita blog! This was a very helpful article as I'm a brolita, too. Please check out my blog if you're interested :)